"There are only three reasons you should ever be this delighted about anything, and all of them involve you being a hot chick, meeting me, and lube."
Maddox
I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' in, but there are 2 trees involved. They said, "Let's call this hotel 'Something Tree'". So they had a meeting, it was...it was quite short. "How 'bout 'Tree'?" "No." "'Double Tree'?" "Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!" Well, I had my heart set on 'Quadruple Tree'...and we were almost there!
Mitch Hedberg
On Matthew McConaughey: "He was always taking his shirt off, he's like "Yeah, here's my deal, I'm hot." We had a meeting one day at like 11 o'clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong... He doesn't smell great, no."
Tina Fey
A wise man once said, "Convention is like the shell to the chick, a protection till he is strong enough to break it through."
Learned Hand
"Oh my precocious one," she said. "You never fail to charm me. Bisexual is it, how Byronic and charming. Doesn't that double's one's chances for love? I'm so delighted."
Anne Rice
Maddox
Maddox, John
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