Tuesday, October 24, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Tina Fey


Comedian best known for being the first ever female head-writer on Saturday Night Live as well as anchoring Weekend Update.
Tina Fey
This is, uh, from "RedSoxGirl02," um, so that person is four years old, I guess, 'cause their thing is "02."
Fey quotes
Two days before Britney Spears' HBO concert from Las Vegas, someone broke into her dressing room and stole the white, Elvis-inspired jumpsuit that she wore to promote the event. And you know what, I'm not giving it back! I keep it now, it's mine!
Fey
"They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy."




Fey Tina quotes
In Washington last week, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of 200 high school students. There were no survivors.
Fey Tina
Bill Clinton's brother Roger was arrested this week for drunk driving in California and then was thrown out of a restaurant after threatening the doorman. Despite all this, Roger Clinton is still the least embarrassing member of his family.
Tina Fey quotes
It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.
Tina Fey
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
Fey Tina quotes
"So, Alec Baldwin; great actor or greatest actor?" I'm gonna say "greatest actor"; Greatest...living...American...actor...in...the Baldwin family...by a mile.
Fey
It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'
Fey Tina
FOX is developing a new reality dating series called Playing it Straight, in which a female contestant will date 14 bachelors, some of whom are gay, and some are straight. The show was originally called The Tina Fey College Experience.
Tina Fey
Former pop singer Tiffany posed as the centerspread model for this month's issue of Playboy magazine. Tiffany, a devout Baptist, sat down with her young daughter and showed her a Cosmopolitan magazine saying "See honey? Mommy isn't nearly as classy as these ladies".




Tina Fey quotes
NBC announced this week that they will be producing a 3 hour TV movie based on the life of Rudolph Giuliani. To keep the movie real to life, the Giuliani character is really unlikeable until the last 15 minutes, when everyone loves him.
Tina Fey
In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."
Fey quotes
(Typical signoff) Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Fey Tina
On Matthew McConaughey: "He was always taking his shirt off, he's like "Yeah, here's my deal, I'm hot." We had a meeting one day at like 11 o'clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong... He doesn't smell great, no."
Fey Tina quotes
Despite the fact that Martha Stewart has disgraced herself too much to hold an official position at Omnimedia, the company may still use her name and images to sell their products. You know, sort of like Clinton and the Democrats.
Tina Fey
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Tina Fey quotes
Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show...called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.
Tina Fey
New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani is once again expressing outrage at an art exhibit, this time at a painting in which Jesus is depicted as a naked woman. Said the mayor, "This trash is not the sort of thing that I want to look at when I go to the museum with my mistress."
Fey Tina
Maxim magazine recently released its annual hot 100 list, with Eva Longoria at #1, followed by Jennifer Garner and Lindsay Lohan. While I, once again, was ranked between Bonnie Hunt and Joy Behar.


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