Monday, December 11, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Riley Martin


Author of the book The Coming of Tan, which describes his life and his alleged abduction by aliens, and the host of The Riley Martin Show, broadcast on Sirius Satellite Radio.
Riley Martin
"They can uh... set a headset on you, and download into your neurotronic syntaxes... uhhh various different... uh very complicated historical, uh and scientific equations and things of this nature... "
Martin quotes
"I have greater things to do than talking to the golden fucking Jew."
Martin
"We have nothing to fear from the sky. If you want to look up, look up at Capitol Hill and fear that." (1/30/07)




Martin Riley quotes
"Dave, I accidentally turned on your show one night and then threw up all over a fucking couch... looking at your beaver-type face." (to "Evil Dave Letterman")
Martin Riley
"Give Robin my love." (concluding voice message to Stern Show)
Riley Martin quotes
"If it was you, you will be hunted down." (threatening Richard Christy)
Riley Martin
"I have better things to do than calling up, kissing the ass of the golden Jew." (when asked to repeat the previous statement)
Martin Riley quotes
"I have visually witnessed, in the physical, several life forms, intelligent life forms, aboard this great mother ship..."
Martin
"There are people, unnamed, in high echelon positions that I could call at this moment and tell them to nullify... uh, the fucking, uh, satellite radio industry."
Martin Riley
"My experiences started when I was 7-years-old and ultimately I'm sure that my experiences happened at that time so that one day I would meet stupid motherfuckers like you." (to "Evil Dave Letterman")
Riley Martin
"The mere fact that you are means you always have been and cannot stop being."'




Riley Martin quotes
"I used to be hot for you, Robin. However, I wouldn't fuck you with Artie's dick."
Riley Martin
"Now, uhhh, if I had called Tim Sabean and said, 'Tim, we have no food' he would have said, 'Fasting is good for your soul'." (talking about contract negotiations)
Martin quotes
"During my nine-day visit with the Biaviians aboard the great mothership, I managed to, uh, get some Polaroid shots of the, uhhh, ships uhhhh, in broad daylight. These are smart bugs, five feet tall. However, when you learn the potential magnitude of their power coupled with the deductive scope of their reasoning, you are given cause, on occasion, for apprehension. The aliens said some people think they are gods and I told them listen man, you're no god! Not with that big Elmer Fudd head! I said, 'Tan (O-Qua Tangin Wann), if you like Stevie Wonder so much, why don't you cruise by his crib and zap him some eye balls?"
Martin Riley
"[Why don't you come to my house]? And if you don't see the articles, I will bust you in your fuckin' beaver teeth." (to Gary Dell'Abate)
Martin Riley quotes
"I hope that we shall meet, whoever is making this call, because I will rip you another asshole, you cocksucker." (to "Evil Dave Letterman")
Riley Martin
"I know that he, uh, has, uh, people to defecate in his mouth... uh, black dudes probably." (to "Evil Dave Letterman")
Riley Martin quotes
"Targzissians are obviously reptilian."
Riley Martin
"I will check him out even if he returns in a Chevrolet, you know..." (referring to the mode of transportation Christ may choose for his return)
Martin Riley
"So, yes, the ship exists, and it belongs to the reptiles." (regarding a UFO sighting)


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