Saturday, June 24, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Steve Martin


American comedian, writer, actor, musician and composer.
Page 1 of 1
Steve Martin
Comedy is not pretty.
Martin quotes
Why is it we don't always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?
Martin
The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now!




Martin Steve quotes
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything any more if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Martin Steve
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin quotes
It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.
Steve Martin
You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.
Martin Steve quotes
A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.
Martin
You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve, how can you be so fucking funny?" There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny.
Martin Steve
People come up to me and say "Steve, what is film editing?" And I say "How should I know? You're the director."
Steve Martin
I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk! Never at dusk, I would never do that.




Steve Martin quotes
(Martin): Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer.
Steve Martin
All of a sudden I had to remember some words that Marlowe had told me over fifteen years ago: 'Dead men don't wear plaid.' Hmm... Dead men don't wear plaid. I still don't know what it means.
Martin quotes
(Audience member): What's your mood watch say?
Martin Steve
Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! (audience repeats) I promise to be unique! (audience repeats) I promise not to repeat things other people say! (audience repeats, laughs) Good!
Martin Steve quotes
I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
Page 1 of 1


© 2009–2013Quotes Privacy Policy | Contact