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Groucho Marx (1890 – 1977)


Primarily known as Groucho Marx, was an American comedian and actor, famous for his work in the Marx Brothers comedy team, and his solo film and television career.
Groucho Marx
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication.
Marx quotes
Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
Marx
Groucho appeals on so many levels at once that you could go nuts trying to figure out whether it's the funny movement, the incomparable tone of voice, what he is saying, or that keenly witty face that hits you the hardest. I swear that if he never existed, we would sense a lack in the world of comedy, like that planet in the solar system that astronomers say Ought to be there.
For me he is The Master.




Marx Groucho quotes
I don't have a photograph. I'd give you my footprints, but they're upstairs in my socks.
Marx Groucho
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx quotes
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.
Groucho Marx
Some years back, after a childhood of preoccupation with comedy that led me to observing the styles of all the great comedians, I came to the conclusion that Groucho Marx was the best comedian this country ever produced. Now I am more convinced than ever that I was right. I can't think of a comedian who combined a totally original physical conception that was hilarious with a matchless verbal delivery. I believe there is a natural inborn greatness in Groucho that defies close analysis as it does with any genuine artist. He is simply unique in the same way that Picasso or Stravinsky are, and I believe his outrageous unsentimental disregard for order will be equally as funny a thousand years from now.
In addition to all this, he makes me laugh.
Marx Groucho quotes
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Marx
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Marx Groucho
They say Allen got something from the Marx Brothers. He got nothing. Maybe twenty years ago, he might have been inspired. Today he's an original. The best, the funniest.
Groucho Marx
I sent the club a wire stating, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER".




Groucho Marx quotes
[Variant:] "Please accept my resignation. I donít care to belong to any club that will have me as a member".
Groucho Marx
George Kaufman and I wrote a lot of funny lines for Groucho, some of which he occasionally used... but it was Groucho who by his innate sense of timing and his inimitable delivery, added the ingredient that brought the house down.
Marx quotes
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Marx Groucho
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
Marx Groucho quotes
A likely story ó and probably true.
Groucho Marx
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.
Groucho Marx quotes
Here's to our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet! (Variation on an old Royal Navy wardroom toast: "Wives and Sweethearts! May they never meet!")
Groucho Marx
I did a bond tour during the Second World War... We were raising money, and we played Boston and Philadelphia and most of the big cities. And we got to Minneapolis. There wasn't any big theater to play there, so we did our show in a railroad station. Then I told the audience that I knew a girl in Minneapolis. She was also known in St.Paul, she used to come over to visit me. She was known as "The Tail Of Two Cities." I didn't sell any more bonds, but eh... they didn't allow me to appear anymore.
Marx Groucho
I got $25 from Reader's Digest last week for something I never said. I get credit all the time for things I never said. You know that line in You Bet Your Life? The guy says he has seventeen kids and I say: "I smoke a cigar, but I take it out of my mouth occasionally"? I never said that.


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