Friday, August 18, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Barry Humphries


Australian comedian and actor.
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Barry Humphries
Although there were many who did the dirty on him in the envious world of letters, Stephen* never let any of them live rent-free in his brain.
Humphries quotes
I'm up shit creek in a barb-wire canoe without a paddle.
Humphries
He was as busy as a one-armed taxi driver with crabs.




Humphries Barry quotes
Forget Spanish. There's nothing in that language worth reading except Don Quixote, and a quick listen to the CD of Man of La Mancha will take care of that. There was a poet named Garcia Lorca, but I'd leave him on the intellectual back burner if I were you. As for everyone's speaking it, what twaddle! Who speaks it that you are really desperate to talk to? The help? Your leaf blower? Study French or German, where there are at least a few books worth reading, or, if you're American, try English. (Advice given in a Vanity Fair agony column)
Humphries Barry
The Yartz. (Sir Les's area of concern)
Barry Humphries quotes
(to a member of the audience, Back with Vengeance tour, Melbourne, 2006) I'm trying to think of a word to describe your outfit ...affordable.
Barry Humphries
I was born in Melbourne with a precious gift. Dame Nature stooped over my cot and gave me this gift. It was the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.
Humphries Barry quotes
He would have been a handful in any society. He is a misfit and fully conscious of it. The punctilio of his old-world manners, the dandified scrupulosity of his Savile Row suits, are compelled by an unsleeping awareness that he has no more business among ordinary human beings than a Venusian.
Humphries
I'm that low I could parachute out of a snake's arsehole and still have room to free-fall.
Humphries Barry
There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.
Barry Humphries
My wife's so boring, she could bore an arsehole on a wooden horse.




Barry Humphries quotes
Are you with me? (Sir Les's usual comment to the audience after a suggestive remark)
Barry Humphries
"To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother."
Humphries quotes
And so I set these things down before the onset of the first of a thousand small physical degradations as, in a still-distant suburb, Death strides whistling towards me.
Humphries Barry
"New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human. "
Humphries Barry quotes
Hello possums! (Greeting to her audience)
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