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Barry Humphries

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I'm up shit creek in a barb-wire canoe without a paddle.

 
Barry Humphries

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What sets a canoeing expedition apart is that it purifies you more rapidly and inescapably than any other. Travel a thousand miles by train and you are a brute; pedal five hundred on a bicycle and you remain basically a bourgeois; paddle a hundred in a canoe and you are already a child of nature.

 
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I found out yesterday there really is a place called Bumf**k, Egypt. And the only way to get there is to go up Shit Creek.

 
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Wise men say that time is like a river. I say time is like a river of SHIT... and as you float down that river in your little canoe, your paddles are getting smaller and smaller.

 
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All this is very good in theory, but in practice, you take a piece of iron, wind a wire around it, then plug the wire in. The core gets hot, the wires smoke, and the fuse blows. So you see, there are practical limitations to theory.

 
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There's so much bullshit around now in pop and hip-hop, and everybody's talking about the same f**king shit, like get the f**k outta here. That shit is horrible. I don't hate anybody, but that shit pisses me off. It's bullshit. So I wanna change things up and make people go, "Aw, man, this is the hot shit. Eamon talks from the heart. He's real."

 
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