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Jerome K. Jerome

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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men — more so, if possible.
--
"On Vanity and Vanities"

 
Jerome K. Jerome

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Nothing so soothes our vanity as a display of greater vanity in others; it make us vain, in fact, of our modesty.

 
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Indeed I scarce ever heard or saw the introductory Words, Without Vanity I may say, etc. but some vain thing immediately follow'd. Most People dislike Vanity in others whatever Share they have of it themselves, but I give it fair Quarter wherever I meet with it, being persuaded that it is often productive of Good to the Possessor and to others that are within his Sphere of Action: And therefore in many Cases it would not be quite absurd if a Man were to thank God for his Vanity among the other Comforts of Life. [Part I, p. 2]

 
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Vain was the chief's, the sage's pride!
They had no poet, and they died.
In vain they schem'd, in vain they bled!
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It is vain to expect virtue from women till they are in some degree independent of men; nay, it is vain to expect that strength of natural affection which would make them good wives and mothers. Whilst they are absolutely dependent on their husbands they will be cunning, mean, and selfish.

 
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Forever seeking, never found,
In this wide varied scene;
Sole object of unceasing search,
While in this low terrene.
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Some lurking passion dwell;
For this will hang with cypress wreath
Retirement's secret cell.
In vain the outward scene is calm,
In vain the world we fly;
If thou, in pure religion's garb,
Thy friendly aid deny.

 
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