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Jack Benny

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Bob Hope: Why do you want Jack's pants?

 
Jack Benny

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Hope: You mean, Jack's actually wearing your pants?

 
Jack Benny
 

You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.

 
Dave Attell
 

Men always made crude jokes about people pissing their pants with fear, but in Sokolov’s experience, shitting the pants was more common if it was a straightforward matter of extreme emotional stress. Pants pissing was completely unproductive and suggested a total breakdown of elemental control. Pants shitting, on the other hand, voided the bowels and thereby made blood available to the brain and the large muscle groups that otherwise would have gone to the lower-priority activity of digestion. Sokolov could have forgiven Peter for shitting his pants, but if he had pissed his pants, then it really would have been necessary to get rid of him.

 
Neal Stephenson
 

Don Wilson: [Poking his head through the curtains] Bob, Bob, quick, give me Jack's pants!

 
Jack Benny
 

Jack: [poking his head through the stage curtains] Bob, will you please give me my pants back?

 
Jack Benny
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