Friday, September 22, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Jack Benny (1894 – 1974)


Born Benjamin Kubelsky, was an American comedian, vaudeville performer, and radio, television, and film actor.
Jack Benny
Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle.
Benny quotes
Thug: You're gonna give us $10,000, or we're gonna break both your legs.
Benny
Don Wilson: [Poking his head through the curtains] Bob, Bob, quick, give me Jack's pants!




Benny Jack quotes
Perry Mason: Maybe my writers are better than yours.
Benny Jack
Liberace: Would you like to stay for dinner, Jack?
Jack Benny quotes
Clyde: I knew as soon as we got off the freeway, we'd run into trouble.
Jack Benny
Jack: What's the matter?
Benny Jack quotes
Cook: We have some breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks.
Benny
Bob Hope: [on being on a CBS show] I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor at a P.T.A. meeting.
Benny Jack
Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out.
Jack Benny
Bob Crosby: That's like keeping the smog and throwing away Los Angeles.




Jack Benny quotes
'Clyde:' Frightened. Why, you yellow-belly. Do you want to live forever?
Jack Benny
Bob: This is rather strange for me, I'm on the major network. [mouths ABC]
Benny quotes
Clyde: Then the animals lit fires to keep us away.
Benny Jack
Jack: Breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks?
Benny Jack quotes
Jack: I want to look tanned, not lumpy.
Jack Benny
Jack: Hey, wait a minute. What kind of make up is this?
Jack Benny quotes
Bob Hope: By the way, this is where Bing did his last show and I think they've done very nicely. They've gotten most of it out of the curtains.
Jack Benny
Throughout Jack's violin solo at the Hollywood Bowl, the audience was glued to their seats. That was the only way he could get them to sit down.
Benny Jack
Jack: These last 2 miles were rugged, weren't they?


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