Monday, December 17, 2018 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Todd Snider

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(Spoken) So I called my brother... he was living in Austin. He had these friends who were letting him stay on their couch, and I figured they might have a couch that I could stay on. So, I got this ride to Austin, Texas and got to this address my brother gave me, and this guy introduced himself as "Bonehead." And I went in and started asking around; turned out they didn't have the second couch, they just had the one couch, uh, for my brother. But they knew where there was a party, and I thought, well, that's good enough.
The Story of the Ballad of the Devil's Backbone Tavern

Todd Snider

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Actually I thought it was quite ironic that the product that I use to protect my couch from spilling my Scotch on it was called Scotch-guard. Sometimes, things just work out like that. "Do you have anything to protect from spilling Scotch on something?" (turns around) "Hmm, let me, Scotch-guard" (Amazed!) Perfect, do you have any Vodka-guard? How about Sperm-guard? It's a busy couch.

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I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

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Cop couldn't find his f**king couch in the living room.

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