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The market is not finished. The market still has over nine thousand points to drop. We'll get to Christmas at least.
--
On the Financial crisis of 2008 The Colbert Report (6 October 2008)

 

Stephen Colbert

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The shock therapy of decisive war [against Iraq] will elevate the stock market by a couple-thousand points. We will know that our businesses will stay open, that our families will be safe, and that our future will be unlimited. The world will be righted in this life-and-death struggle to preserve our values and our civilization. But to do all this, we must act.

 

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