Thursday, August 24, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Marc Maron


Standup comic, writer and cultural critic.
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Marc Maron
Do you remember when you used to be able to remember five phone numbers?
Maron quotes
We certainly showed those Afghanis for what those Saudis did. But hey, canít shit where you eat, you know?
Maron
Pearl Harbor the movie, arguably, was worse than the invasion itself.




Maron Marc quotes
In the digital age our idea of political activism is forwarding an e-mail. You copy four people and think, "I've fuckin' done my part for today."
Maron Marc
How many friends do you really have, seriously? You people...like "I have lots of friends." You don't. You have a lot of shallow relationships with people that talk behind your back and you call that drama a life because you hate your job.
Marc Maron quotes
The only difference between disappointment and depression is your level of commitment.
Marc Maron
There is no way I was buying my wife a fucking gun, because, let's be honest, there is no way I wasn't getting shot with that gun. Buying my wife a gun is sorta like me saying "Y'know, I kinda wanna kill myself...but I want it to be a surprise."
Maron Marc quotes
Do you think Beethoven had any inkling in even the darkest recesses of his unconscious, when he was deaf and sweating over his Fifth Symphony, that one day it would emit from some idiotís pocket, and the response would be "Fuck, itís my mom"?
Maron
The FBI and the CIA, I really thought they had everything under control. I thought they knew what was going on with everybody. I thought they had a camera in the air in a satellite right now taking very accurate pictures of my prostate. I thought they had that kind of technology. I thought they knew everything about everybody, but it turns out theyíre really no different than many other government bureaucracies, say, the Post Office or the Department of Motor Vehicles. Just, uh, you know, 50-60 year old men waiting for their pensions to kick in. Except for the three that let the attack [9/11] happen. Theyíve been promoted.
Maron Marc
I think, in most cases, the difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.
Marc Maron
Where is all the porn coming from?! Why isn't the Christian right talking about porn?! Cause they want us to be jerking off by ourselves! They know they can't get to us; we're lost to them, but at least it'll keep us in our apartments!




Marc Maron quotes
He [George W. Bush] was speaking in congress and he was saying "Why do they hate us? Because of whatís going on right here in this chamber: a democratically elected government. Except for me, of course. I took the presidency in a bureaucratic coup with the help of my fatherís friends in the courthouse around the corner."
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