Jerky Boys
The Jerky Boys Characters are the creation of Johnny Brennan, who is also the voice behind Mort Goldman and Horace in the unrelated TV show Family Guy.
"What I would do was I'd shoot people's heads up with Novocaine and carve grooves in their skulls." (from "The Gay Hairdresser")
"You're a little early, and that is very presumptuous on your part." (from "Flower Lady #2)
"He took foot and hit my ear!" (from "Pizza Lawyer")
"What's so silly about the pizza?" (from "Silly Food")
"(talking to a man in Florida, New York) Shit, I didn't know New York had a Florida. That doesn't sound right. I don't think you know geography very well, you're being silly." (from "Florida, the Tropical State")
"You do have any balloons that I can touch and lick?" (from "Rosine Like Balloons")
"We have a little emergency here....We were boiling some potatoes and we dip them in vaseline, and shoot them at each other, and Peter was looking back making sure it was lined up with his ass, and it shot him right in the fucking eye!!"( from "Tennis Ball Machine")
-What's the apartment number?- "1F." -S as in Sam?- "No F as in fuck baby." (from Signin')
"I got me a funny little drinking problem." (from "Drinking Problem")
"As long as my appearance wouldn't startle you- I'm carved from head to toe." (from "The Gay Hairdresser")
"Hey! Get back to work before I give you a beating!" (from "Pico's Mexican Hairpiece")
"How the hell am I gonna see the company name when I'm busy rolling underneath the fucking truck? I can give you serial numbers, that's the best I can do for you, for christ sakes, the goddamn gear box crushing me in the ground, and you're asking me for the fuckin-the name of the business? What do I look like, a... a tomcat? a nightcrawler?" (from "1-800-How's My Driving")