Monday, February 17, 2020 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Gallagher (Leo Anthony Gallagher)

American comedian and prop comic, most popularly known for smashing watermelons as part of his act.
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If "pro" is the opposite of "con", is "progress" the opposite of "congress"?
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I did not come here tonight to make you laugh! I came here to sell you something! And I want ya to pay particular attention, because The Amazing Master Tool Corporation, a subsidiary of Fly By Night Industries has entrusted who? -- me! -- to show you! -- the handiest and the dandiest kitchen tool you've ever seen, and don't ya wanna know how it works! First you take an ordinary watermelon! You place the Watermelon between the patented pans! Then you reach for the tool that is not a slicer, not a dicer, not a chopper in a hopper! What in the hell can it possibly be? SLEDGE-O-MATIC!"
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