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Pat Condell

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One person I do feel a little sorry for, though, is the Archbishop of Canterbury, the most important clergyman in Britain and he's only got two lousy palaces to live in. What sort of life is that for a man of God? I bet if Jesus came back, even he'd be embarrassed for him; I bet he wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.
--
Religion in the UK (April 17, 2007; from YouTube)

 
Pat Condell

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Prentice: I'm not mad. It only looks that way.
Rance: Your actions today would get the Archbishop of Canterbury declared non-compos.
Prentice: I'm not the Archbishop of Canterbury.
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Joe Orton
 

I made a metamorphose, I'm a new person today, because I used to strongly and honestly, honestly! I feel like I can represent my generation so much because I honestly did not care whether I lived or died. But now I can not die, with people thinking I'm a rapist or a criminal, I can not leave until this shit is straight, you know I'm not suicidal. I can't go until ya'll really know what time it is. And then after that, BOOM!, It's all over and we can see how this shit fall, but that's how it is, and the reason being is because if I can't live free, if I can't live with the same respect as the next man, I don't wanna be here, because god has cursed me to see what life should be like, If God wanted me to be this person and be happy here, he wouldn't let me feel so oppressed, he wouldn't let me feel so trampled on, you know what I'm saying, he wouldn't let me think the things I think. So I feel I'm doing Gods work, you know what I'm saying just because I don't have nothing to pass around for people to put money in a bucket don't mean I ain't doing Gods work.

 
Tupac Shakur
 

Unfortunately, human nature being what it is, the moment the Church was established it became a political organisation, which meant that the consolidation of power and influence quickly became much more important than the message - message? What message? Oh, that message. Of course, yes - and inevitably, this led to bickering about status, and who got to wear the big ring and the fancy hat - you know, the really important stuff - until before long, rival popes were facing each other with massed armies on the battlefield - in the name of Christ, naturally. Even at this point, if Jesus had come back, he would have said: "What are you people doing? I haven't been gone for five minutes and already you're hacking each other to pieces like a bunch of savages! You've missed the point so completely" he'd say, wouldn't he? "You're so far wide of the mark it's way beyond embarrassing" he'd say, "I feel as if I'm talking to chimpanzees" he'd say. No offence, by the way, to any chimps who may be watching. And this is early days, don't forget. Jesus wouldn't yet know anything about all the other horrors that were about to be enacted in his name in the coming years. The Crusades, the Inquisition. He wouldn't know about the systematic suppression of knowledge and free thought that would characterise his church for the next two thousand years. He wouldn't know about the conquest of the New World, where the sacred cross of Jesus slashed and burned its way through entire populations in a way that modern jihadis can only dream about, imposing itself with unparalleled cruelty on civilisations half a world away that, even today, still don't quite know what hit them.

 
Pat Condell
 

"I feel like sometimes that I was born, that I'm not meant for this society because everyone here is a f**king hypocrite. Everybody says they believe in God but they don't do God's work. Everybody counteracts what God is really about. If Jesus was here, do you think Jesus would show me any love? Do you think Jesus would love me? I'm a Muslim, but do you think Jesus would love me ... I think Jesus would have a drink with me and discuss ... why you acting like that? Now, he would be cool. He would talk to me. No Christian ever did that and said in the name of Jesus even ... They'd throw me in jail and write bad articles about me and then go to church on Sunday and say Jesus is a wonderful man and he's coming back to save us. But they don't understand that when he comes back, that these crazy greedy capitalistic men are gonna kill him again."

 
Mike Tyson
 

About belief or lack of belief in an afterlife: Some of you may know that I am neither Christian nor Jewish nor Buddhist, nor a conventionally religious person of any sort.
I am a humanist, which mean, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without any expectation of rewards or punishments after I'm dead. My German-American ancestors, the earliest of whom settled in our Middle West about the time of our Civil War, called themselves "Freethinkers," which is the same sort of thing. My great grandfather Clemens Vonnegut wrote, for example, "If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter whether he was God or not?"
I myself have written, "If it weren't for the message of mercy and pity in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, I wouldn't want to be a human being. I would just as soon be a rattlesnake."

 
Kurt Vonnegut
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