Candy
Is Dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

 

Candy
Is Dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
--
"Reflections on Ice-Breaking" in Hard Lines (1931); this statement is often misattributed to Dorothy Parker.

 

Ogden Nash

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A bumper of good liquor
Will end a contest quicker
Than justice, judge, or vicar.

 

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

 

I thought this was a candy dispenser! F**king candy!

 

Joe Trohman

 

You have been born in this world as a human being to worship God; therefore try to acquire love for His Lotus Feet. Why do you trouble yourself to know a hundred other things? What will you gain by discussing philosophy? Look here, one ounce of liquor is enough to intoxicate you. What is the use of your trying to find out how many gallons of liquor there are in the tavern?

 

Ramakrishna

 

The pilasters reaching down were adorned with a glistering substance (I know not what) under glass (as it seemed), resembling—a homely fancy, but I judged it to be sugar-candy; yet to my raised imagination, divested of its homelier qualities, it appeared a glorified candy.

 

Charles Lamb

 

I get the Reese's candy bar, if you read that name Reese's that's an apostrophe s. Reese-apostrophe-s, on the end of that name. That means the candy bar is his, I didn't know that! Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar and a guy name Reese comes by and says, "Let me have that," you'd better hand it over. "I'm sorry, Reese, I didn't think I'd ever run into you! You're a f**kin' bully, man! Let me at least have a piece!"

 

Mitch Hedberg