Saturday, May 18, 2024 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Mitch Hedberg

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My apartment is infested with koala bears. Its the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches. I turn the lights on and a bunch of koala bears scatter. I'm like, hey, hold on fellas! Lemme hold one of you, and feed you a leaf. Koalas, they're so f**king cute, why do they gotta be so far away from me. They should ship a few over, and I will apprehend one...and hold him...and pet him on the back of his head.

 
Mitch Hedberg

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