"Driving is boring," Rabbit pontificates, "but it's what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went."
John Updike
The next day I was in my car driving along the freeway when at a red light another car pulled alongside. A white woman was driving and on the passenger's side, next to me, was a white man. "Malcolm X!" he called out-and when I looked, he stuck his hand out of his car, across at me, grinning. "Do you mind shaking hands with a white man?" Imagine that! Just as the traffic light turned green, I told him, "I don't mind shaking hands with human beings. Are you one?" Pg. 418
Malcolm (Malcolm Little) X
The next day I was in my car driving along the freeway when at a red light another car pulled alongside. A white woman was driving and on the passenger's side, next to me, was a white man. "Malcolm X!" he called out-and when I looked, he stuck his hand out of his car, across at me, grinning. "Do you mind shaking hands with a white man?" Imagine that! Just as the traffic light turned green, I told him, "I don't mind shaking hands with human beings. Are you one?" Pg. 418
Malcolm X
Three years ago, I bought a Beetle, not even thinking. [Audience laughs some] That's not the joke, shut up. I wasn't thinking, I bought the car, because it was affordable, economical, brand-new freakin' Beetle for $17,000. I was, like, "AHHH!" First new car, you know? I go to show it off at my friend Martin's house. I pull up, like, [Imitates car driving, then brakes screeching] "MARTEEEEEEEEEN!" He lives in the 'hood, I don't get out of the car. Across the street, there are these gang members, the kind of gang members that, they don't get into any gunfights, they just sit on the porch and talk alot of smack. And from across the street, I hear this. I was like, "MARTEEEEEEN!" Behind me, I hear, "Oralé!" [Looks behind] "Hey, what's up guys, hows it going?" "How did you get in there, essé?" [Gives an embarassed/angered look] "HURRY UP, MARTIN!" 2 months later, I come back to pick him up and I've had some time to work on the car. I put some rims on it, some stickers on it, I put a chip in the motor that makes it go faster, right? I thought I was bad, right? So I pull up, [Imitates car driving, tires screeching, and the moter reving] "MARTEEEEEN!" [Gesturing to the voice behind him] "Oralé!" [Gabriel shakes his head] Uh uh, I'm not turning around. "HEY!" Mmm-mm. "Hey!" I don't see you! "Yoo-hoo!" [Growls and turns around] WHAT?! "Check it out, it's the Fat and the Furious!"
Gabriel Iglesias
"How the hell am I gonna see the company name when I'm busy rolling underneath the f**king truck? I can give you serial numbers, that's the best I can do for you, for christ sakes, the goddamn gear box crushing me in the ground, and you're asking me for the f**kin-the name of the business? What do I look like, a... a tomcat? a nightcrawler?" (from "1-800-How's My Driving")
Jerky Boys
Updike, John
Upham, Thomas Cogswell
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