Sunday, August 20, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Phil Hartman (1948 – 1998)


Canadian-born American graphic artist, writer, actor, voice artist and comedian.
Page 1 of 1
Phil Hartman
Judge: Did you hear that, Mr. Cirroc?
Hartman quotes
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer (slurring): [Aboard airplane] Stewardess, could you get me another drink?
Hartman
Troy: I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory". Today I'm here to tell you about "Spiffy.", the 21st century stain remover. Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.




Hartman Phil quotes
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, I'm just a Caveman. I fell in some ice and later got thawed out by your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me. Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW and run off into the hills or whatever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, did little demons get inside and type it? I don't know. My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts.
Hartman Phil
Lionel: I've been getting a lot of calls about you, Marge. People just love your no-pressure approach.
Phil Hartman quotes
Troy: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".
Phil Hartman
Your world frightens and confuses me.
Hartman Phil quotes
Lionel: Mrs. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night; the sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.
Hartman
Lionel: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Hartman Phil
Troy: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other medical films as "Mommy, What's On That Man's Face?" and "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore".
Phil Hartman
Troy: Welcome to the Knowledgeum, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?" While you're enjoying our Hall of Wonders, your car unfortunately will be subject to repeated break-ins and... [Fades]




Phil Hartman quotes
Troy: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as "Earwigs, Ew." and "Man Vs Nature... The Road To Victory".
Phil Hartman
Phil Hartman [singing]:I hide behind these wigs and this make-up, but tonight, I'm gonna let myself shine through. They're gonna see the real Phil Hartman, TONIGHT!
Hartman quotes
[narrating "Sex" by Madonna on tape]: I like my vagina. Sometimes I stare at it in the mirror when I'm undressing, and wonder what it would look like without any hair.
Hartman Phil
Lionel: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Schneider.
Hartman Phil quotes
Lionel: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.
Page 1 of 1


© 2009–2013Quotes Privacy Policy | Contact