Tuesday, October 24, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Matt Groening


American cartoonist; member of the Rock Bottom Remainders.
Page 1 of 1
Matt Groening
Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good." All available evidence, however, points to the contrary.
Groening quotes
If at first you don't succeed, give it up. It isn't worth the pain.
Groening
Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.




Groening Matt quotes
Yes, I'll sign your doll. I like to give my autograph to anyone, anytime, anywhere. But why be happy with just an autograph? How about an original sketch or a snippet of my hair? Don't forget to pull on the beard; they say it's good luck!
Groening Matt
When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
Matt Groening quotes
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Matt Groening
God often gives nuts to toothless people.
Groening Matt quotes
He's very sensitive to my moods. I just wish he didn't cringe so much.
Groening
I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the Republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice... Forget it.
Groening Matt
People are throwing panties at you. They certainly never do that at my book-signings.
Matt Groening
The longer it takes me to find Mr. Right, the more he's going to pay for keeping me waiting.




Matt Groening quotes
We're getting on each other's nerves too much. I think we need to spend more time together.
Matt Groening
Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?
Groening quotes
All my friends say I should leave him because he's mean, angry, and abusive. I need to get some new friends.
Groening Matt
My tastes are much more obscure than you think. The other day, this reporter asked me who my favorite Spice Girl was and I was like, 'I dunno, but ask me about percussion ensembles from Senegal'.
Groening Matt quotes
Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.
Matt Groening
I pretend to listen….what more does she want?
Page 1 of 1


© 2009–2013Quotes Privacy Policy | Contact