Sunday, August 25, 2019 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Marriott Edgar (1880 – 1951)

British writer and comedian, best remembered for his comic monologues about Lancashire working-class characters and about figures from English history.
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Marriott Edgar
Then giving young Albert a shilling,
He said "Pop off back to the Zoo.
'Ere's your stick with the 'orses's 'ead 'andle,
Go and see what the Tigers can do!"
Edgar quotes
"Y' not charging tuppence for that little lad?"
Said Mother, her eyes flashing wild.
"Per tuppence per person per trip," answered Ted,
"Per woman, per man, or per child."
Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence,
And didn't know what to do next,
Said "Mother! Yon Lion's 'et Albert,"
And Mother said "Well, I am vexed!"

Edgar Marriott quotes
Now Albert had heard about lions,
How they was ferocious and wild;
And to see Wallace lying so peaceful,
Just didn't seem right to the child.

So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showing a morsel of fear,
Took his stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andle,
And shoved it in Wallace's ear.
Edgar Marriott
They didn't think much to the Ocean,
The waves, they was fiddlin' and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,
Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.
Marriott Edgar quotes
So with 'is 'ead down in a corner,
On 'is front paws 'e started to walk,
And 'e coughed and 'e sneezed and 'e gargled,
Till Albert shot out like a cork.

Old Wallace felt better direc'ly,
And 'is figure once more became lean,
But the only difference with Albert
Was 'is face and 'is 'ands were quite clean.
Marriott Edgar
There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That's noted for fresh air and fun.
Edgar Marriott quotes
Noah said "Nay; I'll make thee an offer,
The same as I did t'other day.
A penny a foot and a free ride.
Now, come on, lad, what does tha say?"

"Three ha'pence a foot," came the answer.
So Noah 'is sail 'ad to hoist,
And sailed off again in a dudgeon,
While Sam stood determined, but moist.
A grand little lad was young Albert,
All dressed in his best; quite a swell.
With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle,
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.
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