David Cross
American comedian/actor.
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
If the terrorists hated freedom, the Netherlands would be fucking dust.
[After having made an abortion joke] I know that can hit close to home for some people....was anyone here aborted?... (mimicking child's voice:) 'I was found in a trash can!' Okay, well, that sorta counts...
[On the Iraq War] I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. [laughter, long pause] No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are...
I don't remember ordering the Christian sandwich...
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know...
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.