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Kurt Donald Cobain

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[begin list of sophomoric puns] I bet he'd find a place up the chimney of any woman. He's certainly good at filling their stockings. Trouble is, he wouldn't be much good as a lover as he can only come once a year. [end list of sophomoric puns] (Why Chicks Dig Father Christmas)

 

Ben Croshaw

 

The subscription model of buying music is bankrupt. I think you could make available the Second Coming in a subscription model and it might not be successful.

 

Steve Jobs

 

Wherefore should I not offer my congratulations? But the very fact of them being Sayyids, those fountains of felicity, demands heartly exertions in support of Islam and their ancestor Muhammad the Lord of Apostles. Let two Kaftans of honor for the two brothers be issued from my wardrobe and let them be sent with two swords, jewel-hilted and provided with pearl mounted belts, let Jamdat-ul-Mulk write much praise and congratulations when sending these presents.

 

Aurangzeb

 

Cancel my subscription, I don't need your issues.

 

Anonymous

 

Israel has no better friend than America. And America has no better friend than Israel. We stand together to defend democracy. We stand together to advance peace. We stand together to fight terrorism. Congratulations America. Congratulations, Mr. President. You got Bin Laden. Good riddance!

 

Benjamin Netanyahu