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Rita Rudner

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

 
Rita Rudner

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Funny, I never shopped. Even my jewelry — not a piece of my jewelry I bought for me.

 
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When Jesus was nailed to the cross, how was it that he could, in spite of so much pain and suffering, pray that those who nailed him should be forgiven? When an ordinary coconut is pierced through the shell, the nail enters the kernel of the nut. But in the case of the dry nut the kernel becomes separate from the shell; and when the shell is pierced, the kernel is not touched. Jesus was like the dry nut; his inner soul was separate from his physical shell. Consequently the sufferings of the body did not affect him. Though the nails were driven through and through, he could pray with calm tranquility for the good of his enemies.

 
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We're not going to talk about spirituality and religion. Although I will tell you that I have experienced a deathbed conversion. I just bought a Macintosh.

 
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