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I believe in a benevolent God not because He created the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo, but because He gave us snacks.
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p. 51

 

Paul Rudnick

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My only problem with the Grand Canyon is Americans are a little bit too proud of it for my liking. Because they're very proud of it, they are, they love it. I spent two and a half weeks in that Grand Canyon, and if one more American was to say to me "[mock American accent] Hey! Bet you don't have anything like this in Ireland, huh?!", there was gonna be trouble! Honestly! They are so proud of that hole in the ground, you'd think they'd all got together one day with a load of shovels and dug it them-f**king-selves! And let's face it, if they were gonna do that, they would have got the Irish to do it for them, anyway. I do like Americans; they've done a lot to be proud of, to be honest with you. They invented Jack Daniel's, they invented Coca-Cola, they put the two together, hohohoho! They're a thinking people! Put a man on the moon, gave us Marlboro cigarettes, Bill Hicks, Jimi Hendrix, they've done a lot to be proud of. But the Grand Canyon was like that when they found it! And it's not like it was hard to find, the f**ker's huge! "[mock American accent] Bet you don't have anything like this in Ireland, huh?!" Yeah, if we did, we wouldn't have anywhere to put it! Stupid thing to say! Yeah, move Limerick, we have a big canyon coming in! [pauses] Actually not a bad idea, really. I don't know if you've ever been to Limerick [laughs]. "[singing] Limerick, you're a lady!" A big, ugly, scary lady with a knife!

 

Ed Byrne

 

"As for the flood carving Grand Canyon, why don’t they explain to us why the top of the Canyon is 4,000ft higher than where the river (Colorado River) enters the canyon? Why don’t they explain to us how rivers miraculously flowed up-hill for millions of years to finally cut the groove deep enough so they could flow downhill?"

 

Kent Hovind

 

I could throw 56-pound words clear across the Grand Canyon. As a matter of course, I went into politics.

 

Henry Fountain Ashurst

 

Because Arizona has two things people will drive thousands of miles to see — Grand Canyon and the Petrified Forest. They can't get there without roads.

 

Carl Hayden

 

It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.

 

P. G. Wodehouse