I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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"Conversations with Helmholtz"Woody Allen
And mothers are always more interested in the condition of your underwear than your body if you're ever in an accident. And they tell you that, "I hope for my sake that if you're ever in an accident, you have on clean underwear!" Well, I thought that was what an accident was! Look, you're driving a truck. Here comes another truck, gonna hit you. Now, whether you hit the truck or not, you're going to have soiled underwear! Because first you say it, then you do it! Now here comes your mother to the hospital. "Did he have on clean underwear?" "Yes, we found it in the glove compartment."
Bill Cosby
If you are going to have an afterlife, why not just have a physical afterlife? Just come back as a tentacle with a set of lips looking for huge lumps of chocolate to f**k, it'd be much more reasonable.
Dylan Moran
I definitely got initiated on that tour; they would rip my underwear off me everyday. I hated it, dude. I should have stopped wearing underwear.
Joe Trohman
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife — a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Woody Allen
[about Fruit of the Loom] What does fruit have to do with underwear? Except I guess when you pull your underwear down you go, "Oh, I should've eaten more fruit."
Larry the Cable Guy
Allen, Woody
Allende, Salvador
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