Jerky Boys
The Jerky Boys Characters are the creation of Johnny Brennan, who is also the voice behind Mort Goldman and Horace in the unrelated TV show Family Guy.
"I'll bring my children over, I carved the shit outta their heads too, but it looks good." (from "The Gay Hairdresser")
"I'll come down there and I'll slap your face." (from "Moonlight Matinee")
"Me, I don't give a fuck. You know, a hole's a hole. As long as there's a little heat in there I don't give a fuck." (from "Testing for Jeopardy")
"And he's got this silly looking Santa hat on, next thing he's down at my pants. He's trying to pull the fuckin', the balls outta my pants!" (from "Santa's Delivery")
"(to receptionist) I got a little side job for you, honey. Get me someone I can talk to. I'm a very busy man!" (from "Diamond Dealer")
Tarbash: "You know when you get out of the bath and your skin is nice and...open? You ever feel that way? I feel very open today, very much open."
Diane the Flower Lady: "I'll tell you what's open is your ASS!"
Tarbash: "That is open, too."
"You know how when a dog is crippled you put his back legs in a wheelchair? I think Willie the Jackass really puts a smile on kids' faces. I drag the ass-end of the costume around the park cause I ain't got nobody to fill that spot. The back legs are crippled." (from "Willie the Jackass")
"I drive them big eighteen-wheelers, that's all. I'm an old cattle rustler... I'm an old dancing boy."
"I'm his partner, I'm his lover for three years, don't you think I would know about the wedding? I mean what's the story?" (from "Flower Lady #2")
"You know what they say- what's good for the goose is good for my grandkids." (from "Duck Cleaning")
"Hey, who in the fuck are you? You're a liar!" (from "Pico's Mexican Hairpiece")
"I need you to come RIGHT NOW and sweep all these beer bottles, all from my floor." (from "Little Elf")