Jerky Boys
The Jerky Boys Characters are the creation of Johnny Brennan, who is also the voice behind Mort Goldman and Horace in the unrelated TV show Family Guy.
"The tomatoes supposed to have them by seven and a half! Is Nikos!" (from "Bad Tomatoes")
"Runway is just old hat to me, sweetheart." (from "The Gay Model")
"GET BRETT WEIR I SAID!!!!" (from "Super Across the Way")
"I'm Gary Dell'Abate's mom. This is his mom." (from "Bright")
"...then I woke up with my pants unbuttoned." (from "Dental Malpractice")
"He try to sell-a me the corn on the cock, I don't need dis sol-a-bunasco talabas!!" (from "Bad Tomatoes")
"I fill balloons up with deadly poison gas and then float them out over the audience." (from "Egyptian Magician")
"I'm also known for pulling large pieces of furniture from my ass. I'm the best." (from "The Gay Model")
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you was a regular jackass!"
"Some guy told me I parked to close to his car - I busted his jaw for him." (from "Drinking Problem")
"Don't get smart with me, woman. I'll come down there and split an ear off you."
"How do ya say there, bottlenose?" (from "Hucklebuck")
"Now my wife don't like them prices you gotta do better than that. I'm a veteran" (from "Kissel Sails")
"We really rock the house." (from "The Mattress King")
"I put a little ballerina skirt on the monkey and I beat him into oblivion. The crowd seems to love this." (from "The Gay Model")
"I don't even eat that shit, I lick that shit, and then I slappeded that shit right off my table." (from "Rosine Like Balloons" when referring to the lobsters)
"I heard that they hang you upside down and kick your face out the back of your ass. I also heard there's a little room where they heat up hot bacon grease and fire it all over the face" (from "Facelift Without Surgery")
"We're casting for flat-chested tap-dancing freaks." (from "Diva")
"I wanna be a swimmah, a big time swimmah with my legs in the air." (from "Synchronized Swimming")
"Why don't I come down there and read that book with you? I can pet you, feel you up like you're my little turtle." (from "Super Gay")