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Bill Allred

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We'll have peanut butter crackers and juice and use the bidet!
--
Radio From Hell (October 11, 2005)

 
Bill Allred

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When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box, they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. "Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter." But I like crackers man, that's why I bought it, 'cause I like crackers! I don't see a suggestion to put a Ritz on top of a Ritz. I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates! You've got no faith in the product itself.

 
Mitch Hedberg
 

What kind of food did we drop on Afghanistan? Pop-Tarts, peanut butter...just add a Honey Baked Ham and you've got a redneck Christmas. Why are we dropping this food on Afghanistan? Tastes a hell of a lot better than dirt, number one. Number two, difficult to have a call to jihad with a mouth full of peanut butter. Thirdly, Afghanistan is a hashish-smoking culture, and anyone who's ever been a friend of the hookah will go, (intense, stoned stare) "Pop-Tarts!"

 
Robin Williams
 

Jack: I know, but peanut butter?

 
Jack Benny
 

"Living in a world without Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. (when asked 'What's your greatest fear?')

 
Klayton
 

Yes yes (quoth she) for all those wyse woordis vttred,
I know on which syde my bread is buttred.
But there will no butter cleaue on my breade.
And on my bread any butter to be spreade.
Euery promise that thou therin dost vtter,
Is as sure as it were sealed with butter.

 
John Heywood
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