Karl Kraus (1874 – 1936)
Austrian journalist, satirist, essayist, aphorist, playwright and poet.
Nothing is more narrow-minded than chauvinism or race hatred. To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all. No petty prejudices!
War: first, one hopes to win; then one expects the enemy to lose; then, one is satisfied that he too is suffering; in the end, one is surprised that everyone has lost.
I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don't say what it wants to hear.
Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and I get no enjoyment from pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.
One shouldn't learn more than what one absolutely needs against life.
"A cigar," said the altruist, "a cigar, my good man, I cannot give you. But any time you need a light, just come round, mine is always lit."
Women at least have elegant dresses. But what can men use to cover their emptiness?
Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis.
The tyranny of necessity grants its slaves three kinds of freedom: opinion free from intellect, entertainment free from art, and orgies free from love.
Many women would like to dream with men without sleeping with them. Someone should point out to them that this is utterly impossible.
The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner.
Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves.
Language is the mother of thought, not its handmaiden.
How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.
Psychology is as useless as directions for using poison.
I trim my opponents to fit my arrows.
One of the most widespread diseases is diagnosis.
I hear noises which others don't hear and which disturb for me the music of the spheres, which others don't hear either.