Karl Kraus (1874 – 1936)
Austrian journalist, satirist, essayist, aphorist, playwright and poet.
The tyranny of necessity grants its slaves three kinds of freedom: opinion free from intellect, entertainment free from art, and orgies free from love.
I hear noises which others don't hear and which disturb for me the music of the spheres, which others don't hear either.
One of the most widespread diseases is diagnosis.
I trim my opponents to fit my arrows.
Psychology is as useless as directions for using poison.
How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.
Language is the mother of thought, not its handmaiden.
Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves.
The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner.
Many women would like to dream with men without sleeping with them. Someone should point out to them that this is utterly impossible.
Many desire to kill me, and many wish to spend an hour chatting with me. The law protects me from the former.
Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis.
Women at least have elegant dresses. But what can men use to cover their emptiness?
"A cigar," said the altruist, "a cigar, my good man, I cannot give you. But any time you need a light, just come round, mine is always lit."
One shouldn't learn more than what one absolutely needs against life.
Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and I get no enjoyment from pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.
I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don't say what it wants to hear.
War: first, one hopes to win; then one expects the enemy to lose; then, one is satisfied that he too is suffering; in the end, one is surprised that everyone has lost.
Nothing is more narrow-minded than chauvinism or race hatred. To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all. No petty prejudices!
I am not for women but against men.