Jerky Boys
The Jerky Boys Characters are the creation of Johnny Brennan, who is also the voice behind Mort Goldman and Horace in the unrelated TV show Family Guy.
"And he's got this silly looking Santa hat on, next thing he's down at my pants. He's trying to pull the fuckin', the balls outta my pants!" (from "Santa's Delivery")
"We really rock the house." (from "The Mattress King")
"Now my wife don't like them prices you gotta do better than that. I'm a veteran" (from "Kissel Sails")
"How do ya say there, bottlenose?" (from "Hucklebuck")
"Don't get smart with me, woman. I'll come down there and split an ear off you."
"Some guy told me I parked to close to his car - I busted his jaw for him." (from "Drinking Problem")
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you was a regular jackass!"
"I'm also known for pulling large pieces of furniture from my ass. I'm the best." (from "The Gay Model")
"I fill balloons up with deadly poison gas and then float them out over the audience." (from "Egyptian Magician")
"I wanted to move my penis around to the back side of my ass, because I don't know which way I'm swinging just yet. But I'd like to keep it just in case." (from "Breast Enlargement")
"...then I woke up with my pants unbuttoned." (from "Dental Malpractice")
"I'm Gary Dell'Abate's mom. This is his mom." (from "Bright")
"GET BRETT WEIR I SAID!!!!" (from "Super Across the Way")
"Runway is just old hat to me, sweetheart." (from "The Gay Model")
"The tomatoes supposed to have them by seven and a half! Is Nikos!" (from "Bad Tomatoes")
"Do you have any lobsters?" (from "Rosine Like Balloons")
"You sound like you got a nice pair of them fuckin' balogna tits on ya, huh Willy?" (from "Testing for Jeopardy")
"Hello Sam? What are you doing?" (from "Bad Tomatoes")
"He try to sell-a me the corn on the cock, I don't need dis sol-a-bunasco talabas!!" (from "Bad Tomatoes")
"I need you to come RIGHT NOW and sweep all these beer bottles, all from my floor." (from "Little Elf")