Jack Benny (1894 – 1974)
Born Benjamin Kubelsky, was an American comedian, vaudeville performer, and radio, television, and film actor.
Jack Benny: We're a little late, so good night, folks.
Jack: I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.
Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle.
Rochester: It would've been hard to rhyme a dollar ninety-eight.
Thug: [repeating] Look, bud, I said 'Your money or your life.'
Jack: Oh, it's not that big a difference. You're twenty-five and I'm thirty-nine.
Jack: [Pointing to the tiger] He must have gone to a veterinarian in Denmark.
Don Wilson: I don't think you know how much it means to me to do the commercial. After all I'm not a funny man. I can't sing or dance. I don't lead a band. What are you paying me for?
Jack: Gee, I never thought of that.
Jack: These last 2 miles were rugged, weren't they?