Jack Benny (1894 – 1974)
Born Benjamin Kubelsky, was an American comedian, vaudeville performer, and radio, television, and film actor.
Clyde: You're telling me. What about those first three nights, we had to light fires to keep the animals away.
Bob Hope: Put your head back through there, or I'll start handing out baseballs to the audience.
Clyde: I wondered why he had his hand on his hip when I shot him.
Jack: I know, but peanut butter?
Marilyn Monroe: What about the difference in our ages?
Jack: When they laugh at one of my jokes... it just gets me right here. [Puts hand on heart]
Rochester: Well, you said you wanted something to make you look nice and tanned.
Hope: You mean, Jack's actually wearing your pants?
Jack: [poking his head through the stage curtains] Bob, will you please give me my pants back?
Rochester: That's for me. I can't stand the sight of blood.