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"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard."

 

Mike Tyson

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As Anthony said to Cleopatra as he opened a crate of ale:
"Oh, I say, some girls are bigger than others,
Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers.

 

Morrissey

 

Wake up people! If you are gay and living in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, what the f**k else are you gonna do? You're gonna join the musical theatre. That's all you got in Pigeon Forge - there's no "bear" bar! This is it. Suit up.....put the wings on!

 

Kathy Griffin

 

Before the phantom of False morning died,
Methought a Voice within the Tavern cried,
"When all the Temple is prepared within,
Why nods the drowsy Worshipper outside?"

 

Omar Khayyam

 

Mrs. Smith said her life in politics was her only life. "I have no family, no time-consuming hobbies," she said late in her Senate career. "I have only myself and my job as United States Senator."
But she also had a sense of humor. In 1952, when asked by a reporter what she would do if she woke up one morning and found herself in the White House, she replied: "I'd go straight to Mrs. Truman and apologize. Then I'd go home."

 

Margaret Chase Smith

 

His language had a special vocabulary — not just "the SF" [God] and "epsilon" [child] but also "bosses" (women), "slaves" (men), "captured" (married), "liberated" (divorced), "recaptured" (remarried), "noise" (music), "poison" (alcohol), "preaching" (giving a mathematics lecture), "Sam" (the United States), and "Joe" (the Soviet Union). When he said someone had "died," Erdős meant that the person had stopped doing mathematics. When he said someone had "left," the person had died.

 

Paul Erdos