Sunday, December 22, 2024 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Lewis Black

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I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie so sweet? There's not enough sugar in the universe.

 
Lewis Black

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I hate people at Halloween they don’t carve their pumpkin out, they’ll just like paint a face on it; you know what I’m talking about? But some people won’t even do that, they’ll paint a face, but it won’t even be on a pumpkin, it’ll be like on a piece of paper. But some people won’t even do that, they’ll take like a bunch of words and put that on a piece of paper, and it’ll be like an essay on Ben Franklin or some shit, you know? And then they’ll hand it in at school and it won’t even be Halloween! It’s like, pffft, nice jack-o-lantern, jackass!

 
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