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You get first crack at the chicken balls if you get there early.
--
Radio From Hell (January 10, 2007)

 

Kerry Jackson

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Animal rights acitivists always say to me, "How could you kill a chicken for a movie?" Well, I eat chicken and I know the chicken didn't land on my plate from a heart attack. We bought the chicken from a farmer who advertised freshly killed chicken. I think we made the chicken's life better. It got to be in a movie, it got f**ked, and then right after filming the next take, the cast ate the chicken!

 

John Waters

 

Just cuz I eat Chicken and Watermelon they think that something’s wrong with me. Let me tell you somethin if you don’t like chicken and watermelon, something is wrong with you, there is something wrong with you! Where are all these people who don't like Chicken and Watermelon? I'm sick of hearing about how bad it is, it's great! I'm waiting for Chicken to approach me to do a commercial nigga, I'll do it for free Chicken! It's the least I can do.

 

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He felt as if someone far away below in the darkness was chipping away at the pillars of his mind, and the steady crack...crack...crack of it was the only sound in the universe.

 

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I was on a plane, and the steward was coming down the aisle. "Asian chicken salad...Asian chicken salad...Asian chicken salad..." And he gets to me and he's like, "...chicken salad!" What does he think I'm gonna do? "Dis is not de salad of my people! In my homeland, dey use mandarin orange slices...and crispy wonton crunches!"

 

Margaret Cho

 

My favorite song right now is impossible to defend. It's impossible. We should all be ashamed of ourselves for liking this f**king song. Lil Jon. You know that shit: "To the window! To the wall! [crowd sings along] 'Till the sweat drip from my balls! Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet!" You go to clubs, you see girls dance to that shit. "Till the sweat drip from my balls! Till the sweat drip from my balls! From my balls! From my balls! My balls! Skeet, Skeet Skeet!" I feel sorry for the guys that gotta pick a wife out of this bunch. It's like, "Daddy, where'd you meet Mommy?" "Oh, she was singing about balls at a club. Skeet, skeet, skeet!"

 

Chris Rock