"The bird that would soar above the plane of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth."
Kate Chopin
Tell me why the caged bird nutters against its prison bars, and I will tell you why the soul sickens of earthliness. The bird has wings, and wings were made to cleave the air, and soar in freedom in the sun. The soul is immortal — it cannot feed upon husks.
Randolph Sinks Foster
And they ask me, "Well, is it alright if we let the drug-sniffing dog walk along the outside of the plane?" I said, "That's fine," and the dog walks back and forth a few times, and the cop says, "Well, the dog gave us the signal there are drugs on the plane," and I was like, "...No, he didn't! That dog didn't do anything, I was starting straight at him! He didn't wink, blink, woof, or paw. What's his signal, a blank stare? [Mimes a blank stare] That's all he did!" And the cop says, "Well, the dog gave us the signal there are drugs on the plane," And I said, "Well I said there are no drugs on the plane. Who are you going to believe, me or...Ah, f**k it, whatever." It takes them an hour and a half to search this plane, and I'm standing there going, "Oh, come on!" And of course there are no drugs on the plane, and I think that's it, and then the cop goes, "Now that dog needs to sniff that bag you have with you," and I was like, [Scooby Doo voice] "Ruh Roh!" They found 7/8 of a gram of marijuana in my bag. I consider myself OUT of marijuana when I have 7/8 of a gram. That's no weed.
Ron White
Bush gets appointed to the presidency, and he gives Ashcroft the job of Attorney General? A religiously insane, jack-booted thug? ... The people who knew him best: The people in the state where he had been Attorney General, where he had been Governor, where he had been Senator, they knew him best. They said "No, it's time to get rid of this moron. Because he's REALLY gone over the edge!" So they voted for Mel Carnahan, who happened to be killed in a plane crash before the election - and the voters knew that! Did that make them say "Uh, I guess we can't vote for a dead man..." NO! They voted for the dead man! The voters in Missouri are saying "we'd rather have a dead man as our representative in the United States Senate, than him!" And Kathy, don't you dare play any of his records! I don't want to hear "Soar like an eagle, I'll soar like..." - don't do it! I'll walk off the program today if you play that.
Mike Malloy
Thing: "On the wings of love, we'll soar to the depths."
John (novelist) Reed
As you may have known, I got myself into a bit of trouble lately. [audience cheers] And I'll tell you what happened. I was heading down to Florida to do a show, and I flew in on a private jet that you guys bought me. Thank you. It's niiice. We landed in Vero Beach, Florida, and there were cops waiting for me, and cops love me, so do firemen. Sometimes they will escort me from the airport to the venue, and this...wasn't one of those times. The cop came to me and said, "Mr. White, we have been told there are drugs on this plane by an anonymous tip." I said, "There are absolutely no drugs on the plane." I did have a bit of weed in my bag, but it's not on the plane, so technically I'm not lying. And the cop says, "Well, may we search the plane?" I said, "You may absolutely not search this plane unless you have probable cause," because I still have civil liberties, you know what I mean? [Audience cheers] I do.
Ron White
Chopin, Kate
Chopra, Deepak
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