"See that shit, I play the flute too, in more ways than one too." (from Signin')
Jerky Boys
Chivalry died when women started readin' the shit in all them magazines. They got too much advice about men from other women. And they don't know what the f**k they're talkin' about. I see them in the grocery store, says on the cover "100 Ways to Please Your Man" by some lady. Come on, man. Ain't no 100 ways. That list is four things long. Just suck his dick, play with his balls,fix him a sandwich, and don't talk so much and he'll be happy!
Dave Chappelle
-What's the apartment number?- "1F." -S as in Sam?- "No F as in f**k baby." (from Signin')
Jerky Boys
"I don't even eat that shit, I lick that shit, and then I slappeded that shit right off my table." (from "Rosine Like Balloons" when referring to the lobsters)
Jerky Boys
There was a guy down in Florida who said that, at the age of 53 years old, he was in good enough physical condition to withstand the wind, rain and hail of a force-3 hurricane. Now, let me explain somethin' to ya: it isn't that the wind is blowin', it's what the wind is blowin'. If you get hit by a Volvo, it doesn't matter how many sit-ups you did that morning. If you have a "Yield" sign in your spleen, joggin' don't really come into play. "I can run 25 miles without stopping." "You're bleedin'." "Shit!"
Ron White
Jerky Boys
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