Maddox
George Ouzounian is the owner of The Best Page in the Universe, a satirical website.
"Fernando is wanted for 'murder with a deadly weapon' according to the FBI website. As opposed to being wanted for murder with a non-deadly weapon?"
"The only thing that goes with Crocs is social Ostracism."
"It simultaneously warms my heart and wears my delete key when I get emails from twelve-year-olds."
"When I say this game is hard, I mean hard like nipples-on-a-blind-lesbian-in-a-fish-market hard."
"my friend and i were watching mtv the other day when nelly came on and my friend was like "omg nelly rules". hes such an idiot, he only listens to trendy music. at least i like original stuff like beyonce.
"I'm impressed that they've been able to take a 2D character with a 1D personality and bloat it into a 3D disaster."
"Why are politicians so full of shit? Why can't there be a congressman (congressman, yes man, tough shit to all you feminists) that just speaks his mind without the meaningless bullshit and ass kissing?"
"In an effort to salvage the money I wasted on this bullshit, I ate six cups of jello, one bag of corn nuts, a Soynut bar, and a bag of jelly beans for dinner. The only thing X-TREME about this experience was the X-TREME dump I took later that night:"
"When the iPhone was first announced, CEO Steve Jobs spewed enough BS to cover a football field full of babies 3 feet deep in bullshit, which sounds cool because he could have potentially murdered a football field full of babies, but he passed on this opportunity by introducing the phone instead."
"That reminds me of how much I hate babies. Why does everyone want to save them? There are too many babies. I'm not saying we should kill them, but if you happen to be giving your baby a bath and the phone rings.. well, nobody will judge you. Besides, you might get free brownies out of it at the funeral, and brownies rule."
"Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid."