Jack Benny (1894 – 1974)
Born Benjamin Kubelsky, was an American comedian, vaudeville performer, and radio, television, and film actor.
Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle.
Thug: You're gonna give us $10,000, or we're gonna break both your legs.
Don Wilson: [Poking his head through the curtains] Bob, Bob, quick, give me Jack's pants!
Perry Mason: Maybe my writers are better than yours.
Liberace: Would you like to stay for dinner, Jack?
Clyde: I knew as soon as we got off the freeway, we'd run into trouble.
Cook: We have some breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks.
Bob Hope: [on being on a CBS show] I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor at a P.T.A. meeting.
Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out.
Bob Crosby: That's like keeping the smog and throwing away Los Angeles.
'Clyde:' Frightened. Why, you yellow-belly. Do you want to live forever?
Bob: This is rather strange for me, I'm on the major network. [mouths ABC]
Clyde: Then the animals lit fires to keep us away.
Jack: Breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks?
Jack: I want to look tanned, not lumpy.
Jack: Hey, wait a minute. What kind of make up is this?
Bob Hope: By the way, this is where Bing did his last show and I think they've done very nicely. They've gotten most of it out of the curtains.
Throughout Jack's violin solo at the Hollywood Bowl, the audience was glued to their seats. That was the only way he could get them to sit down.
Jack: These last 2 miles were rugged, weren't they?