Fran Lebowitz
American journalist.
"In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy."
No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Women who insist on having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publication.
Take away a man’s actual sense of manhood — which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children — and you’ve got to give them something else. And they did.
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
I understand, of course, that many people find smoking objectionable. That is their right. I would, I assure you, be the very last to criticize the annoyed. I myself find many-- even most-- things objectionable. Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one's home. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs. In private I avoid such people; in public they have the run of the place. I stay at home as much as possible, and so should they. When it is necessary, however, to go out of the house, they must be prepared, as I am, to deal with the unpleasant personal habits of others. That is what "public" means.