Damon Runyon (1884 – 1946)
American author and journalist, famed for his vernacular portraits of the Broadway gambling scene.
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One of these days ... a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you are standing there, you are going to end up with an earful of cider.[]
He who tooteth not his own horn, the same shall not be tooted.
Always try to rub against money, for if you rub against money long enough, some of it may rub off on you. (A Very Honorable Guy)
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
Under no circumstances does he get good natured until noon. If he has to get up early in the morning you have to converse with him in signs most of the day because he pants so hard that his mouth cannot open in conversation. He is a lovely travelling companion, if he happens to be in the next coach.
I long ago come to the conclusion that all life is six to five against. (A Nice Price)
You felt he was laughing at the world, not with it.
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