Lionel: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Phil Hartman
The idea to say that Steve Jobs didn't build Apple, that Henry Ford didn't build Ford Motor, that Papa John didn't build Papa John Pizza, that Ray Kroc didn't build McDonald's, that Bill Gates didn't build Microsoft, you go on the list, that Joe and his colleagues didn't build this enterprise, to say something like that is not just foolishness, it is insulting to every entrepreneur, every innovator in America and it's wrong.
Mitt Romney
I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the f**ker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the f**ker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"
Mitch Hedberg
Lionel: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Schneider.
Phil Hartman
Lionel: I've been getting a lot of calls about you, Marge. People just love your no-pressure approach.
Phil Hartman
Lionel: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.
Phil Hartman
Hartman, Phil
Hartnell, William
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