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Mention The Lord of the Rings just once more and I'll more than likely kill you.
--
Dickie Davies' Eyes, Back Again In The D.H.S.S. (1987)

 

Nigel Blackwell

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What a night! A couple of trolls, a fairy, and a giant all going after a sunken-eyed little monster that's obsessed with jewelery. It's like The Lord of the Rings!

 

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Talking to John Kerry is like talking to an Ent. You know, the tree people from Lord of the Rings...[imitating an Ent] I believe that all Americans should have affordable healthcare...

 

Margaret Cho

 

But there must've been a Death Star canteen, yeah? There must've been a cafeteria downstairs, in between battles, where Darth Vader could just chill and go down: "I will have the penne all'arrabbiata." "You'll need a tray." "Do you know who I am?" "Do you know who I am?" "This is not a game of who the f**k are you. For I am Vader, Darth Vader, Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought." "Well, you'll still need a tray." "No, I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the Force, which is strong within me. Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished, for I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor." "No, the food is hot. You'll need a tray to put the food on." "Oh, I see, the food is hot. I'm sorry, I did not realize...Ha..ha..ha.h.. I tought you were challenging me for the fight to death. " A fight to the death? " This is a canteen, I work here. Yes but i am Vader. I am Lord Vader? Every one challenges me To a fight to the death.

 

Eddie Izzard

 

Nothing has astonished me more (and I think my publishers) than the welcome given to The Lord of the Rings. But it is, of course, a constant source of consolation and pleasure to me. And, I may say, a piece of singular good fortune, much envied by some of my contemporaries. Wonderful people still buy the book, and to a man 'retired' that is both grateful and comforting.

 

J. R. R. Tolkien

 

And I waked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the psychiatrist, room 604." And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL." And I started jumping up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and he started jumping up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the Sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

 

Arlo Guthrie