"You sound like you got a nice pair of them f**kin' balogna tits on ya, huh Willy?" (from "Testing for Jeopardy")
Jerky Boys
"If you can't whip out answers like that, that man (Alex Trebeck) is liable to, during a commercial break, punch your f**kin' mouth loose!" (from "Testing for Jeopardy")
Jerky Boys
I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Does anyone know why a pair of sunglasses cost more than a big screen television? Does anybody know? I went to the Sunglass Hut to buy a new pair of sunglasses after I lost my pair. And I see a pair that I like. I don't love them, I like them. $309. So I asked the salesman, very politely, I said, "How do you sleep at night, you f**kin' prick?" And I told him--this is true--that I bought a 25" color television at Wal-Mart for $218. And he says, "Well, apparently, sir, you don't get it." "...I'm listenin'." "These sunglasses block 100% of all UV rays." "No, apparently you don't get it; this thing decodes a digital signal it picks up from outer-f**king-space!" Then I found out the glasses got basic cable and I felt like a dickhead...
Ron White
"How many pits are in a pear?" "Aah, two." "You know damn well there's much more than 2 pits in a pear." (from "Testing for Jeopardy")
Jerky Boys
Right now, the theme is "Sex In The 80s", which must've been an exceptionally hard sell round Channel 4 towers. Mullets! Tits! Duran Duran! More tits! Bigger mullets! Ha ha ha! All you need is a few seconds of voiceover babble about "changing attitudes" and "social upheaval" laid over the top and hey presto: you've justified everything. It's not just a load of tit shots - it's a sociological investigation. With tit shots.
Charlie Brooker
Jerky Boys
Jerome
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