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Jacob M. Appel

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"Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform."
--
"Scouting for the Reaper," Virginia Quarterly Review (Summer 2009)

 
Jacob M. Appel

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The little girl saw her first troop parade and asked,
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"They are for war. They fight and each tries to kill as many of the other side as he can."
The girl held still and studied.
"Do you know ... I know something?"
"Yes, what is it you know?"
"Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come."

 
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(First Bad Girl) The Southern Baptist convention decided that women should submit graciously to their husbands. (Second Bad Girl) Graciously? Seems like submitting would be enough. (First Bad Girl) Who wants submission with attitude? (Second Bad Girl) Even the IRS doesn't ask for "gracious."

 
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