Thursday, June 13, 2024 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Eddie Izzard

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What? … The Carthaginians are attacking? God, I knew they'd do that. What? … They are attacking over the Alps? Damn, I knew they'd do that. What? … They're coming on elephants? … Where'd they get the elephants? There aren't any elephants in Europe. This I got to see … are you sure? … It's not just a typo mistake? Perhaps the Carthaginians are attacking over the Alps and they are in their element? Kind of upbeat, you know. They're coming on f**king elephants, huh.

Eddie Izzard

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If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps.

James Thurber

Interviewer: You describe seemingly fantastic events in such minute detail that it gives them their own reality. Is this something you have picked up from journalism?
García Márquez: That's a journalistic trick which you can also apply to literature. If you say that there are elephants flying in the sky, people are not going to believe you. But if you say that there are four hundred and twenty-five elephants in the sky, people will probably believe you.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Elephants are contagious.

Paul Eluard

Women and elephants never forget an injury.


"Doug Henning’s ads were the campaigns’ gold. Dr. Henning is the vice-swami, or the guru, or is it the thigh master, who is in charge of the natural law party. Dr. Henning can make elephants disappear. As a political skill this is of limited practicality. We do not have many elephants in Canada, certainly not so many as to thrust elephant relocation, never mind outright displacement, to the top of Canada’s social agenda. Reflecting on this I’m inclined to the thought that Dr. Henning is campaigning on the wrong continent, conceivably on the wrong planet. His followers in the natural law party are a bunch of frustrated levitators. Am I being over critical? Probably. As the wise proverb observes, you should never make fun of a fellow human being, until you have bounced a mile in his buttocks."

Rex Murphy
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