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Dylan Moran

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It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
--
On Tequila

 
Dylan Moran

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See I don't drink, I smoke. I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club. [starts dancing, mimics being handcuffed and walked to police car] Hey what is this, a leather bar? Hey I'm not into this, you faggots, oh SHIT!

 
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It creeped him out, the way it just sat there looking so plastic and harmless among the old-time good intentions of all that downtown architecture, no more sinister than a chain motel by the freeway, and yet behind its neutral drapes and far away down its fluorescent corridors it was swarming with all this strange alternate cop history and cop politics—cop dynasties, cop heroes and evildoers, saintly cops and psycho cops, cops too stupid to live and cops too smart for their own good—insulated by secret loyalties and codes of silence from the world they'd all be given to control, or, as they liked to put it, protect and serve.

 
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Don't worry, I don't underrate the cops. But cops can't break a guy's arm to make him talk, and they can't shove his teeth in with the muzzle of a .45 to remind him that you aren't fooling. I do my own leg work, and there are a lot of guys who will tell me what I want to know because they know what I'll do to them if they don't. My staff is strictly ex officio, but very practical.

 
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Dennis McCauley's Phone Number Is (private phone number) I called him yesterday, asking him to call me back at (Jacks phone number) so that I could correct an error (yet another one) in a story here at GP about me. But guess what? Dennis won't call me back. That's because he's not a real journalist, just a freelancer who is a biased video game industry jihadist.
Please contact Dennis and ask him to return his phone calls. Thanks. Jack Thompson

 
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When one longs for a drink, it seems as though one could drink a whole ocean—that is faith; but when one begins to drink, one can only drink altogether two glasses—that is science.

 
Anton Chekhov
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